Trouble At School Again

Saturday
We had a good day on Saturday, we spent 8 hours working on mama's project to re-landscape the front yard. She likes to come up with rather ambitions projects, and sometimes she has bitten off more than we can chew. We made a lot of progress, and installed an irrigation line to attach drip lines. These drip lines will water our shrubs and flowers. After working all day (from about 8:00 am to 5:00 PM) on Saturday, we got the line in and buried, and several shrubs planted around the perimeter of the front yard.

The kids worked really hard too. My twelve-year old son, Bryan, worked really hard. He ran the power cultivator (a mini roto tiller) to stir up the soil and mix in mulch together. Meanwhile, I dug trenches for the irrigation line. Mama and Sammy (my soon to be 10-year-old daughter) distributed the mulch throughout the flowerbed.

Anyway, We worked hard all day on Saturday. The kids wanted to go swimming at the local recreation center. After finishing our work for the day, and gathering up all of our tools and supplies, we put on our swimsuits, and headed for the pool. The kids had a lot of fun swimming around, and going down the water slide at the pool. My wife (mama) and I spent some time in the water together, playing with the kids some, but also just kind of dancing together in the water. Later mama and I spent some time in the hot-tub next to the pool. It was really nice and helped soothe our stiff and sore muscles.

After swimming we went to a new Japanese Seafood Buffet that opened up in our area. It cost about $40.00 for the four of us. The food was really good. I believe we'll go there again sometime.

After coming home, we found that we were really tired. Previous thoughts we had of having some "extra-curricular activities" were now long gone. We got the kids off to bed, and watched a couple of home improvement shows on HGTV, and then went to bed.

Sunday, Part 1
On Sunday, I had early church council meetings (starting at 6:30 AM!) -- so I had to get up at about 5:00 AM to get ready. My meetings let out at about 8:30 AM, and I came home to see if anyone was out of bed yet. They were all in our bedroom, watching TV - well at least everyone was up.

However, I soon discovered that mama was not feeling well. She was stiff and sore from all the work the day before, but now she also had a COLD as well. Her head was really stuffy, and I could tell that she really felt lousy. I asked her if she planned on going to church, and she said no.

I had to tend to some church business at a different congregation from our own, so the kids couldn't come with me. My business would take place at the same time as our main worship service. Since mama wasn't going, that meant that the kids weren't going either. I felt bad about that, but there was nothing I could do to avoid it.

So I went off to my meeting, and took care of the business I had to attend to, and returned home. The last hour of our worship service was still about 1/2 hour away from starting. I got Bryan ready so that the two of us could attend the last hour of the service. I also needed to go to our local congregation, because I needed to give my monthly financial donation to the local leaders as well.

Meanwhile, mama and Sammy stayed at home.

After the services were over, Bryan and I came home to find that there was trouble in the air. Mama was not happy, and as the saying goes, "If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy!" It turns out that we had finally gotten Bryan's progress report from school. In much of his writing and math subjects, he had only turned in roughly 50% of his assignments. In social studies, he had turned in the first couple of assignments, and nothing after that. The problem with all of this is that all along, Bryan had been claiming that he was completing and turning in all of his assignments at school, and thus did not have homework to do.

We had to get the house cleaned up because we were expecting some visitors later in the afternoon. As we walked in the door coming home from church, mama was in the progress of what I would call "Aggravated Vacuuming". There was a grimace on her face, a bark in her voice, and a dark cloud over her head. I knew that all was not well, and the rest of the day was going to be pretty rough.

The Youth Choir
After completing hour housework chores, I had Bryan come and sit down next to me on the living room couch, and we discussed a previous commitment for Bryan to sing in a large youth choir. The only problem, the choir was in 4-point harmony, and he was placed with the tenors. The reality is that his voice hasn't changed yet, and he is still a boy soprano, musically. However, singing with the sopranos is not a option, because the sopranos, naturally are all girls, and he must sing with the boys. He simply could not reach all of the notes. He can get down to an A or G below middle C, but that's about hit. Meanwhile, he can hit a high A or B above middle C, which many sopranos would love to be able to hit.

At first the rehearsals for the choir were with our local church congregations. However, from now on they will be at various locations quite some distance away. In fact, last night was a mandatory rehearsal. One big problem was that it was also at the same time as my Dad's 70'th birthday dinner celebration.

I could tell that the choir thing was not working out, musically, and also it was not working out practically. I wanted Bryan to be able to go to his grandpa's 70th birthday celebration. I also didn't want to have to transport him to hither and yon for the next two months until the choirs performance. And frankly, he is too young and immature to be off to these locations without close supervision anyhow.

So I sat Bryan down on the couch next too me, and asked him how he would feel if he didn't get to sing in the youth choir. His answer was, "It would be a big relief." Frankly, it was a big relief for me to know that he didn't want to continue with the choir, because I was about to tell him as gently as I could that I thought it was best if he did not participate. Having it be his own idea made it much easier. For him it was a relief, rather than a big letdown.

Meanwhile, mama came down the hallway, and I waved her into the living room to let her know what our plans were with the youth choir. I explained some of the reasons why it was just not going to work out for us.

School Troubles - Again
Then mama said that she had something we need to discuss as well. That's when she dropped the bombshell about Bryan's homework assignments. Now before you judge that Bryan is a total slouch, you must first understand that he has some learning disabilities. His whole school career has been a difficult struggle for everyone -- for Bryan and his mom and dad as well. He has an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and time spent in "Resource", what we used to call Special Ed. His biggest problems have to do with short-term memory, being able to plan and prioritize his work, being able to stay on track with a task to completion. Because of all of these difficulties, he has a great deal of trouble with writing and composition. He has a team of experts working with him, his Resource Teacher, a school psychologist, an Occupational Therapist (for handwriting skills) and a part-time aide that works with him in the regular classroom to help him with his writing tasks.

We also made a big argument with the school district a year ago to "retain" him in 5th grade. We transferred him from a year-round school to a new school that would would on a traditional schedule (continuity works better for Bryan rather than all of the stops and starts of the year round schedule.) Right now Bryan is completing is second go round of 5th grade.

Even with all this help, school is still a difficult problem for him. And, hence, a source of great concern for his parents as well.

Mama confronted Bryan about his class assignments. It took quite awhile to get the truth out of him. He kept insisting that he had been turning in his assignments. What was really disappointing is that he would look at mama right in the eye, and lie through his teeth about the assignments. We new better, and eventually he caved, admitting that he hadn't been turning in his social studies assignments. But its not just social studies. His math comprehension isn't very good, and his general language skills are not very good either.

In reality, we are more disappointed in his untruthfulness, both yesterday's lies, and hiding the truth about his school assignments, and the need to do homework for the past few months as well. If he would have told us that he was having trouble getting his assignments done, then we would have helped him at home after school so he could get them completed. I suspect that he just didn't want to have to do homework - and hence the cover story that everything was being done at school. We were thinking that finally the aide situation was really working, and that great progress was being made. So this has been a real letdown.

We have some big decisions to make -- Whether to keep him in the public school, or to home school him. Private school would be great, but we can't afford the thousands of dollars per year in tuition costs. We were hoping that private school tuition reimbursement would pass in the state legislature this year, but that hasn't happened for us yet. If that ever comes to pass, we may be able to get Bryan into a private school that will give him the attention he needs.

We, or mama, I should say, has home schooled him in the past. After having kindergarten in the public school, Bryan was homeschooled for all of his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade years, and for the first half of his 4th grade year. Sammy also was homeschooled for kindergarten, and all of 1st grade, and the first half of 2nd grade. Mama had some health issues in late 2002, and throughout 2003 which made homeschooling impossible (3 times in the hospital, for various problems, including two surgeries!) She had health issues basically throughout much of the year 2003.

We could homeschool for Bryan again, to try and get him ready for Jr. High. Sammy does really well in the public school (she did well in homeschool too.) However, its Bryan that really needs the individualized attention.

So there is trouble in school. Again! Every year there are heart-wrenching issues that we have to confront. The public schools just never seem to be able to get it right. Even the programs that the school district comes up with for Bryan don't have the follow-through that they should have. It seem like all you get is lip service. In the end, it is Bryan who pays the price. He is not being served well by the school system.

Meanwhile the concern for Bryan's future remains strong for both mama and me. We worry about what will become of Bryan. Not only in his academic career, but also in the kinds of career opportunities that will be available to him. Will he be able to provide for himself and his family one day? Will he ever be able to get himself organized, keep on task, and follow through on projects to the end -- without constantly having to be reminded to stay on task? We are as much concerned for his life skills, as we are for his academic skills.

At this point, I can't see him going to a regular 4-year college. I think he could do well in sales, if he can get himself organized, and be able to plan, make goals and accomplish those goals on his own. He also would do well with things that he could do with his hands. Like some kind of repair work, like heating/AC, or electronic repair work. I would suspect that sales, or a job in one of the trades would be the best fit for him. And the truth is, there is good money to be made in those fields, if he can get through the training process. In fact, some of these jobs are more plentiful and are better paying than many jobs requiring a 4-year bachelors degree.

So there is hope that everything will work out alright. But for now, as it has been for the past few years, it is a challenge, and a great source of worry and concern. It shows on mama's face, and it shows in her mood. And it weighs me down some as well. But we have to have faith. We need to trust in the Lord, that in His time and in His way there will be a way for Bryan to succeed. So our thoughts and prayers will be especially focused on Bryan the next little while.

Talk On Personal Priesthood Responsibility

Last Sunday I gave a talk on the Subject of Personal Priesthood Responsibility. This was my regular monthly speaking assignment on the 3rd Sunday of each month. The talk was given on May 15, 2005, which coincidentally was 176 years to the day when John the Baptist appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdry to restore the Aaronic Priesthood. You can read my talk, if you would like, over on the Gospel Study Page.

Bryan's State Fair Project

For the past several weeks, Bryan and I have been working on his "State Fair Project". This is like a Science Fair project, only in this case, it is a Geography Fair. Bryan was assigned to report on the State of Maryland. Last year mama took the lead on the Science Fair project that Bryan did. So this year is was my turn. (I believe the school district alternates between science fairs and geography fairs, every other year. Both 5th graders and 6th graders participate in this project. -- That means that next year, both Bryan and Amy may be doing science projects. I guess that means that both mom and dad will be overseeing major projects next year.)

Here were the requirements of the project:

1. A 3-5 page report, complete with title page, table of contents, and bibliography.



2. Hand drawn pictures of the state bird, tree, flower, flag, and a map of the state



3. Prepare a 3-5 minute oral presentation for the class -- student was not allowed to simply read his report.



4. Prepare a 10-question True/False quiz to give the class -- based on the oral presentation.



5. Create a tri-fold display on poster board (22x28) containing pictures and interesting facts about the state



6. Create a shoe-box size float (like in a parade) with items that depict the state.

As you can see, it was a pretty ambitious assignment. I have posted Bryan's Report Here

We started by looking for images on the internet for Bryan to trace. We located the images of the State symbols. Dawn Ann has a projector that enlarges pictures and projects them on the wall. You tape a piece of paper on the wall, project, and trace. (Dawn Ann uses the projector to trace patters that she used for her wood carvings.) Bryan traced and colored his pictures, so we checked off that requirement.

Next we started doing research about the State of Maryland, also on the Internet. We researched the original colonization, who the founders were, and what their motivations were. As it turns out, a primary motivation to provide a Haven for Catholics. In 1634, Catholics were outcast in England. In fact, Catholic Priests could not minister openly, or they could be arrested. Catholic marriages were not recognized by the government, and Catholics were not allowed to openly worship. Catholics were also limited in how they could participate in society, such as voting rights, and the right to serve in government positions. In fact, the Original Governor of Maryland, Leonard Calvert had a wife who lived in England. She never did come to the Colony. He would go back and visit his wife and children every few years in England. No official government records have been found of his Marriage, meaning that he was probably married by a Catholic Priest, but the marriage was never recorded in public records.

All of the original settlers, and landowners of Maryland were Catholic. By 1649, however, they created a religious tolerance law in the Colony. The first of its type anywhere. All Christian denominations were welcome to Maryland, and all would be fully enfranchised to vote, own properly, hold public office, and participate in every way. This was way ahead of the other colonies at the time. The Puritans in New England, for example, were not tolerant of other faiths. Those who didn't live up to Puritan standards and beliefs were sent off to other Colonies, such as Connecticut. The Maryland religious tolerance law was a direct forerunner of the 1st Amendment to the constitution, which guarantees religious freedom, and precludes the government from establishing any one religion or sect as an official state religion, to the exclusion of all others. No one would be disenfranchised because of how they worship.

We also studied about Maryland in the Civil war. We were surprised to learn that Maryland was a Slave State, but narrowly voted to stay in the Union. However, they were closely divided. Maryland actually had troops that fought on BOTH sides of the civil war. Those who were slaveholders, tended to go with the confederate Armies, and those who were against slavery joined the Union Army. Virginia was also split by the issue of slavery, but their division was more geographic in nature. In fact, that's how the state ofWest Virginia was born. Pioneers, who generally were not slave holders lived in the Western Portion of Virginia, on the other side of the Mountains. The Eastern part of the state was populated more by aristocratic land owners, who had slaves.

Maryland, on the other hand was divided within various communities. You might have hear of stories of brother fighting brother, and fathers fighting against sons in the Civil War. This likely happened to those from Maryland who fought in the war. In fact, some of the Maryland units in the civil war fought against each other at the battle of Gettysburg.

We coalesced all of our research, created some "talking points memos" for his oral presentation. Then we created a 10-question True/False to quiz based on his oral remarks.

Bryan decorated his "float" with a collage of images representing Maryland. I printed out the materials from the computer to mount on the tri-fold poster board. Bryan and mama attached the pictures and fact sheets to the tri-fold. I touched up the written report, added the bibleography, title page, table of contents, and put it in a cover. Then we bundled it up to be turned in.

The night before it was due, Bryan and mama were up until about 12:30 am. It took me until about 2:30 - 3:00 am to finish getting all of the written report finished. I inserted graphics into the report, to give it some life. Bryan's blog entry of the written report looks much like the one that was on paper, except that this one has links to the sources that you can click on.

We were grateful to have the Internet to gather images, and do research. I can't imagine having to go to the library to do all this. That's a great change from when I was a kid. Now we can do research from home, with a far greater wealth of material available. Much of the material comes from official government sources. The authenticity and authoritativeness of the information is hard to question.

Both Dawn Ann and I are really looking forward to next year, with the prospect of having to do two science projects. I guess we'll each take a kid, and go to work. Maybe we'll need a second computer, broadband internet access, and a home computer network to accomplish all that. (Well, I can dream can't I?)

Wednesday Bryan gave his oral presentation and gave his quiz. Only one kid got 100% on the quiz. (We had three False Questions, and I guess we caught some of them napping, or not paying attention.)

Today, Friday, was the time for parents to come and see all of the projects. All of the 5th graders (3 classes) had taken a state. The 6th graders each reported on a country, instead of a state. Bryan's display stacked up pretty well with the others. I thought Bryan's was much more informative than many of them. Some were fancier, but Bryan can be proud of what he accomplished.

Improving Quorum Instruction

I will be making a presentation in our Stake Priesthood Leadership Meeting on Thursday (May5th). I will be speaking on Improving the Quality of Instruction in Priesthood Quorums.

You can view my lesson notes and handouts here.

Bryan's First Scout Camp

Last weekend, Bryan went on his first scout camp. He was pretty excited to go. I remember how excited I was when I was 11 years old -- looking forward to camping with the scouts. I remember collecting scouting and camping equipment, and keeping it in a box (my "Scout Box") and daydreaming about the campouts to come.

Bryan has now reached that milestone. I helped him pack his gear, and showed him how to set up the small dome tent, and take it down. We had him all set to go the night before they left. His gear was all set out by the front door so that he could grab it and go when the time came on Friday afternoon.

I interviewed Bryan about his adventures, right after he came home. I have posted his recollections of his adventure over on Bryan's Blog. Go take a look at it, and leave him a comment.

Stop Growing Up! . . . I Mean it!!!

Robin In A Tree
Originally uploaded by tankgirl.

You know they're growing up when its time for the 'ole Birds and Bees Talk. Yep, that Birds and Bees talk.

Last Week, Bryan and I attended a "Maturation" class, sponsored by the elementary school.

In the past, we have taught the children some of the general concepts about where babies come from, without going into explicit detail.

(Bee Pollinating a Passion Flower)

However, we wanted to be the first to tell our children about this topic. We didn't want Bryan to hear it first from ill-informed friends on the playground, the school, the NEA, Planned Parenthood, NARAL, or any other group with a political agenda.

How one uses his or her powers of procreation has much to do with the degree of success and happiness one will experience in life, - both in this life, and in the world to come.

So on the day BEFORE the maturation class, Bryan and I decided to go have a little talk of our own.

We had our family home evening, as usual. Then after family prayer, Bryan and I went out for a drive to the International Airport.

We found a secluded spot near the airport runways where we could have an uninterrupted chat, and watch the airliners take off, and land.

Above all, I wanted to stress the sanctity and holiness associated with the process of bringing children into this world, and how it is an important part of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I began by talking to Bryan about the Plan of Salvation, and how obtaining physical bodies is an essential element of Our Heavenly Father's Plan. Without obtaining physical bodies, we could not progress in our goal to return to, and one-day to become like our Father in Heaven.

I then discussed with Bryan how Heavenly Father has shared with us his power of creation - the ability to create mortal bodies in which to clothe his spirit children. Within each of us, male and female, He has given the seeds of life. This ability to procreate comes with strong urges and desires to induce us to take on the responsibilities of parenthood, and to ensure that His spirit children will have the opportunity to receive physical bodies.

From the time of the Garden of Eden God has commanded that this sacred power of creation be used only within the bonds of marriage. Any use, or abuse, of this power outside the bonds of marriage (between a man and a woman) is strictly forbidden by God. Only those who properly safeguard and use this power in this life, will have the power to exercise this power in the world to come.

Some of the greatest happiness and fulfillment we can have in this life stems from righteously bringing children into the world, and raising them up in unto the Lord. Although it is a challenging responsibility, with many ups and downs, joys and disappointments, nonetheless; it causes us to stretch and grow in many ways, and come to understand more about our Heavenly Father and his purposes.

On the other hand, using these powers of creation against the commandments and counsel of God, can bring upon us some of the greatest misery and ruin that can be experienced in this life. From the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, to an unintended pregnancy. There are great consequences associated with conceiving and bearing a child out of wedlock, both for the parents, and the unborn child, and society as a whole as well. Quality of life is diminished for both the child and the parents (especially the mother).

Heavenly Father is wise to command us to wait until we are married to use this power, and to bring children into the world at the proper time in our lives, and under the best of circumstances. A child has a right to both a mother and a father, who love each other, who are committed to family life, and who are married to each other. This provides a great deal of stability in the child's life. The parents are also more mature, and better prepared to raise and nurture a child.

Bryan and I then discussed the changes that were about to come into his life - both the physical and emotional changes that he will experience as he moves from childhood into adolescence.

We discussed male plumbing and anatomy, what the various parts are and what they do.

We also discussed female maturation changes, and the accompanying female plumbing and anatomy.

Then we discussed the delicate topic of just how the male seed is introduced to the female seed, and how conception takes place, and life begins. We discussed the gestation process, and how birth takes place. Now he truly knows where babies come from - most of the time, at least. In Bryan's case it was by C-Section, which I also explained.

Now that he knows about the respective male and female plumbing and anatomy, and how conception and birth takes place, we then spent a good deal of time on the rules - or the Moral Code. We discussed the importance of keeping ones self morally clean, with an eye toward future goals of going on a mission, and a temple marriage. We discussed the peace, confidence, and protection that one can feel as they save themselves for marriage.

I asked Bryan what things he had heard about this topic either from school or from friends. I was mildly surprised to hear that some of his schoolmates had been in the habit using sexual terms as epithets. He has long known of the "F-word", now he knows what it really means. Bryan also mentioned that he had hear the words "Gay" and "Lesbian" at school, and wanted to know what they meant. I explained what those terms mean as well. We discussed how inappropriate obscene and vulgar words are, given the sacredness of the power of creation. I helped Bryan see that the power that knowledge and being well-informed can give him. With the knowledge he now has, he can better combat the evil influences that are around him, and not be deceived.

Overall, we were gone for about 2 1/2 hours - a little longer than I had expected. I felt like it was a good bonding experience between Bryan and Me.

The next night we went to the Maturation Class at the school. I had found that we had pretty much covered everything that the school covered. The presenter used an overhead projector, with some simple illustrations that helped Bryan better understand the plumbing and anatomical aspects of the subject matter. The school brought in a guest speaker, a former elementary school principal, who did a wonderful job presenting the subject matter. Bryan did great during the presentation. Due to our little chat the night before, there was nothing in the presentation that caught him by surprise.

On the other hand, there was a young man sitting in the row ahead of us, who was not so prepared for the information presented. This young man found parts of the presentation more than he could endure - He covered his ears with his hands, shrugged his shoulders, shut his eyes and bowed his head. For him, there was just way toooo much information all at once. I'm sure this has as much to do with this young man's overall maturity, as well as perhaps not being prepared in advance for what was to come.

I was glad that Bryan was well-prepared, and able to receive everything so well.

I decided to sent Bryan's principal an email with my feedback about the maturation class. Here is the text of the email that I sent the next day:

I just wanted to give you a little feedback on the boys maturation
class last night.

I attended with my son, Bryan, and found the class to be really well-done.

Mr. Newman did a wonderful job. Everything was done in very good
taste, and with proper respect for moral values and standards as
well. I appreciated his use of appropriate humor as well, which
helped to put everyone at ease.

This is a very good program, and I can see why you have wisely taken
advantage of Mr. Newman's services in making this presentation.

Thanks,

I feel fortunate to live in an area where this most important topic was dealt with in such a sensitive and respectful way. Kudos to the principal for choosing the right presenter.

It remains to be seen in later years as Bryan receives further school instruction and "sex education" if this pattern of good taste, decency, and a respect for family values and moral principles will continue. I hope it does.

As for me, I feel good about the rapport and communication that Bryan and I were able to establish with one another. I intend to meet with Bryan one-on-one on a regular basis to re-visit this topic, and any social pressures that he may be feeling.

Communication lines have been established, and I want to keep them open during the critical years to come.

Lotsa Talks

I have had a lot of speaking assignments with my church calling the last few weeks, four in all.

The first was a Priesthood Lesson on Being a Patriarch in the Home. I gave this lesson as part of a Ward Conference.

Second Was my regular monthly speaking assignment. I was assigned to talk on The Law Of Tithing.

Next, I had the opportunity to teach a lesson at the local youth correctional Center. It happened to be Easter Sunday, so naturally, my lesson was on The Message Of Easter.

This was a unique experience, one which only comes around once a year. I ended up teaching the same lesson, to three different groups. The first group was mostly girls, ages 12-18. Normally this first group has about a dozen participants. This time however, there were others who came to participate, and the group ended up being about 40 individuals.

The second group was boys, ages 12-18. There were about a dozen participants in this group. Many of these boys had attention span problems, and other developmental problems. In fact, some of them got up and left the room during the lesson. I didn't take it personnaly though, I knew that for some of them sitting still for 30 minutes was more than they could do. One of the boys who left the classroom got into some kind of trouble out in the hallway, and had to be taken into custody, and returned to his room.

The third group was boys from 14-18 years of age. They were all sex offenders. I have to admit that I gulped a little when I found out the makeup of this group, but I decided to continue on in a non-judgemental way. I tried to approach them as the Savior would approach them, trying to love the sinner, without loving the sin. As it turned out, this was the lesson that I felt went the best of the day.

Since this was an inter-denominational meeting, (and a State run facility) I had to limit my comments to Bible passages only, without relying on latter-day scriptures and conference talks as usual.

For part of my lesson, I showed them photos taken in Death Valley of the recent wildflowers (as noted in the link above). I also used these photos for my Home Teaching message for March, and for Family Home Evening.

I decided to email the person (Judy Moseby) who took the photos and thanked her for sharing her photographs. You can see our email correspondence here. She sent back a very sweet response.

Finally, last Sunday my Regular monthly speaking assignment April came up again (already!) This talk was on Hope Through The Atonement of Jesus Christ. This was a nice occasion, because I got to speak in my own ward for a change.

All of these talks are posted on the Gospel Study Page. Now I actually have a whole month before my next talk (Yea!)